The Intention Test
It can be helpful to “check yourself” before revealing, sharing, or telling your child certain information regarding their other parent.
Before you say something….check your intention. Walkthrough these questions before you include your children in conversations about their other parent.
- What is my real reason for revealing this information to my child?
- Is my child being harmed by the behavior I am about to criticize?
- Are they being harmed by not having the information I am about to reveal?
- What is my definition of harmful for my child?
- What is my definition of helpful for my child?
- How will it help my child to hear what I am about to tell them?
- Do the possible benefits of revealing this to my child outweigh the possible risks?
If I were still happily together with their other parent, and I wanted to protect our child’s relationship with them, how would I handle the situation?
Are there elements of what I want to communicate to my child that may be more appropriate in the future and not now? What is my child capable of understanding right now (based on their age, temperament, and development)?
When we are able to be more intentional about sharing information with our children, we insulate them from the complexity of the adult world. Check out our headspace blog for a deeper look at how to navigate keeping your child free from these complexities. If you need more support on navigating difficult conversations with your child about divorce or separation, Our Parenting from Two Homes course will guide you.