How to Talk to Your Kid: When Your Ex Messes Up

Let’s talk about how to talk to your kid when you ex messes up; what to say and DON’T say to our kids. We are all human and mess up from time to time. As co-parents it’s important to remember throughout the divorce process and even after that kids are kept insulated from the complexities of divorce.

First, imagine a huge balloon…

It’s your kid’s favorite color. Next, imagine you tie the balloon to your kid’s backpack while they are taking a walk with you. Your child looks back at you, sees the balloon and smiles and giggles. They always know the balloon is there but it is weightless and light and there to lift them up.

Now, imagine a large backpack on your kids back.

Then imagine you have all of this sand, some pebbles, some stones, and few huge boulders.  Imagine each of those pieces of sand as little pieces of negative information about their other parent. The stones are labels you have given your co-parent and call them in front of your kids. The boulders are the stories of the ways their other parent ruined your marriage. Check out more helpful examples below to understand what the sand, pebbles, stones and boulders “sound” like.

Ask yourself; How full is your kid’s backpack?

Kids aren’t meant to carry the weight of burdens from adult decisions. Learning how to talk to your kid when your ex messes up is important. We are all human and bound to make mistakes and if we aren’t prepared with ways to handle situations and conversations with our kids they may end up feeling like they are in the middle. If you are concerned your kids are being put in the middle of you and your co-parent we are here for you. We have resources for co-parents  like you, who have dug in to our online co-parenting course and feel more confident in their ability to co-parent and keep their kids out of the middle.